Day 33 -36 "Rumble in the Jungle"

Well the day had arrived when we were to face the music of "The Gibbon Experience". Jo had been slowly starting to panic and Fred (my 9 year old) had suddenly seemed rather quite!! .................. what a result!
We grabbed breakfast at the cafe next door to the Gibbon office and then sat and watched our safety brief video, which was very short as we had already signed our lives away, absolving them of any responsibility whatsoever. It was starting to get hot already and we had a 2 hour trip in the back of a pick-up truck to get to our destination. Some of this was on road, although as to exactly who's road it was, was debatable, as on one occasion we were actually run off the road (fairly hairy actually!!) by a huge lorry coming round a sharp bend on our side of the road. The car in front of us braked heavily and we didn't have time to stop which caused our truck to veer off the road onto the gravel verge, just managing to stop before a huge drop!!! ..... without actually checking how many of us were still on the back of the truck our driver regained his position on the road and carried on. ........ reminiscent of the famous (Agatha Christie novel) Rene Clair movie (1945)... "and then there were None.........Four!!"

We soon left the road and hit dirt track, very bumpy dirt track and very long dirt track heading deep into the jungle, getting higher and higher. It was then we realised that actually this was going to be a very authentic experience. This really was deep South East Asian Jungle!! (complete with everything else that lived in here!!). We had been told that once we arrived at the village we had a 2 hour trek into the jungle before we reached our tree houses! With temperatures hitting 36 to 40 degrees and extremely humid, we were breaking out into a sweat just breathing! (Laos was experiencing a heat wave .... deep joy!), The trek was slow with plenty of steep climbs, but we had been assured by the pervious group back in the village who were just leaving, that it was worth it! .......... but be prepared to sweat! ............... really sweat!!

They weren't wrong, we were soon at the first zip wire of our trek to Treehouse number 3. This was the smallest Treehouse that slept 4 People, but was big enough for our family of 5 and the Treehouse with the most spectacular view. The other treehouses slept 8 people and our other groups divided up accordingly. I was quite woried about how the children would cope with the heights, as these zip wires were quite long (some nearly 1/2 mile! and several hundred feet up, crossing the valley, above the jungle canopy!!). I thought Imogen (our 7 year old) had better link up with our Laos guide, Simon, for the first run, which meant Fred (our 9 year old and a little less comfortable with heights) would have to go on his own!! ....... ok!! ........ first time for everything, and they all seemed up for it. .................... With a 3 minute talk from Simon, who spoke very little English, of always clip on safety cable first, then zip roller. To break, squeeze the tyre, on top of the roller, onto the cable (tyre being a section of bicycle tyre the you used to put your hand on top as you went along and squeeze the back of it on the cable if you needed to break) ............................ Robinson and Heath spring to mind!! There are 3 colours of tape on the cables; Yellow - safety cable on tree houses and launch areas; Green Tape: this is the zip wire run and Red Tape: dont use this one as it is a return zip wire! ............... "right .... lets go" ...... So with safety helmets distinctly absent! and wooly gardening gloves, purchsed from the local shop to protect your hands, on, we were off. ....................... well lets face it, this all added to the authenticity and freedom of the experience. After all, I hadn't seen Gibbons wearing safety helmets and they seemed to survive? ...................... whooooooooooooooohooooooooooooo!!! It can only be descibed as being unbelievably awesome! ................. the view was stunning!! .............. and you were hanging up there on your own on a zip wire, in the midle of nowhere, way above the jungle canopy, I would guess travelling at least 70km/h! ............. it was quite unbelievable! Harry and Imogen were ecstatic and even Fred was beside himself. The second zip wire we landed on a very small platform, at least 120' up a tree, with open timber floor and a small winding staircase to lead you to the next launch deck, curling around the trunk. ............................... to say this was high was an understatement and not really a lot of 'wood' to walk on, but with safety clip on yellow, if anything happened at least you wouldn't die!! ............ not sure Jo felt that way though! The 3rd zip wire took us straight into our treehouse, probably between 120 and 170' of the ground. The view from this treehouse was undescribable, looking over at least 15 small valleys of jungle, and as our tree house was on a high point the canopy of all these valleys was spread out way below us, making it even more impressive. This was to be our home for the next 3 days.

Can't remember hearing the safety briefing on what to do if you came across any of the many venomous snakes and other wierd and probably just as venomous creatures, that we were now living with .......................... but still at least we had the children for protection who would be any match for a mere Saw Scaled Viper, (on the list of top 10 deadliest snakes in SE Asia) or the Spectacled Cobra!!

These vipers are very quick tempered ............... a bit like somebody else I know!! ..... They are also very fast, their venom causing symptoms of swelling, bleeding gums, a drop in blood pressure and the heart rate falls. Vomiting and facial swelling occurs in about one third of cases and death or septacaemia, respiratory or cardiac failure may occur 1 to 14 days post bite, or even later!!! ................................. Fan..bl**dy .. tastic!! ...... Glad I didn't know about that before sleeping in a tree house in the jungle!!!! ..............................

We spent the afternoon trekking and running zip wires. It was exceptionally humid and hot, and never before have we all craved for the taste of water so much, but the zip wires made it worth while. We slowly worked our way over to treehouse 5, which was the furthest away from us, but allowed us to have fun on the longest zip wires on offer, between 500/600m in length. The height when half way across, hanging over the valley was quite surreal as the view was like looking out of an aeroplane! it was truley amazing! Walking through the Jungle would bring frequent stops to just catch our breath, drink more water, watch huge colourful butterflies dance around us as we walked, compare armies of small biting ants to their larger red cousins and even larger 'wooded' cousins; watch jumping white flower-like bugs that just looked stupid! and sucking the nectar out of red ground flowers that provided a nice sweet kick to keep us going.
Treehouse 5 was much larger than ours and getting out was probably the most daunting zip wire departure, as you had to hook up to the cable and sit on a single plank overhanging a 200' drop to the ground!! ............ then take a leap of faith!! The children were great, Imogen and Harry lapping it up and Fred, bless him, was also up for it, but did take a little time to adjust various pieces of equipment before convincing himself that he had to sit on the overhanging plank and trust his cable. ................... Once completed he was desperate to have another go!! ..... Jo also did fantastically well!

Treehouse 1 was like a 4 storey hotel!! Each of the upper floors were suspended in mid air by steel cables and the main house had a large open plan dining room complete with table and chairs. The cold water shower on the lower level was complete with a stunning jungle view.
It was a master piece of construction and apparently each house took 4 men almost a year to build. Each treehouse had a small kitchen sink with drinkable!! water, living area, sleeping area, and bathroom comprising sink, ceramic hole toilet and overhead cold shower, which in the heat was very refreshing. They even had solar powered electricity!!

Well ............. unfortunately, the Jungle wouldn't be complete without Leeches!! and although the children seemed to get away scott free, Jo and I managed to find a few bulbous friends hitching a ride while trekking, in particular to the farthest Treehouse. Once they had got their fangs into your veins, you didn't really notice anything until your blood stained socks or trousers resembled something out of 'the chain saw massacre'!! Even when you got them off, you seemed to be oozing unstoppable blood for the next two hours!

Fred taking a welcome cool head shower in the intense heat and humidity of the day


When we got back to our Treehouse, basic hot supper was provided by our guide, zip wired in from a kitchen hut on the ground, complete with Tea and hot chocolate and fresh lychees, which were wonderful to quench your thirst after a very hot day. The children couldn't eat enough of them, neither could Jo or I! Supper, not exactly 'corden blue' always included a bamboo case of 'sticky rice' .......... that is ..... 'sticky' in its most 'solid' form and nothing short of a hammer and chisel was going to free it from its case!!! Dusk came in very quickly and as the sun set the noise of the Jungle completely changed and became very loud! Wrapped up in dark mosquito nets, our Tree House was now Home to its night guests!! Freddie: "What was that noise ......... Dad?" ........ A. "Don't worry Fred ....... just a bug" ................... Freddie: "What was THAT noise ....... Dad?" .................... A. "Don't worry Fred .......... just a bigger bug" ................................................... ........................................................................ Freddie: "Dad ............. what was THAT noise!?" ................................ "uhhh ............... don't know Fred .......... just get to sleep and don't think about it!"
As soon as we were in our protective mosquito cocoons, all sorts of noises were going on. Ratty came out as soon as the lights and torches were off and we made a mistake of not throwing the 'sticky rice' out on the first night and ratty chewed through our bamboo basket only to be extremely dissapointed at the quality of food he was now faced with. After such an effort, he managed a small portion of the by now very sticky rice and moved on. The second night we got rid of the rice, but later that night cold hear him chewing through our day sacks ............... clearly smelling out one of the secret sweet stashes that Fred had manegd to keep as an emergency supply!! - I had to get up this time before he caused too much damage and found that he had chewed through the day sack pulling out my leech blood stained socks. ................ probably tasted better than the sticky rice!! The next morning we were awoken again by the sound of whooping Gibbons, 5.45am, which was a pretty impressive alarm call and the mornings saw plenty of zip wiring before basic breakfast. On the last morning we had a long hot and sticky walk back to the vilage for the bumpy and long ride home, but all in all an epic experience for all of us!!

An eyrie morning mist, viewed from our treehouse, with the sound of barking Gibbons in the distance.

Day 29 - 33 Laos - Airports, Crocodile red curry! and Mick Jagger!

Well we flew to Luang Prabang Airport in Laos on a small propelled plane, "it looks like something out of Tintin", remarked Harry and the three intrepid young travellers embarked on their next adventure, excited although obviously minus 'snowy' (Max, our ageing Jack Russell) the dog! Once gain I had the pleasure of siting next to Freddie , my 9 year old, who in his usual way was very excited, especially at being able to see the propellers outside his window.
"Wow, look at the propellers, they are going round so fast you can't see them ................. I wouldn't like to be Harry, (sitting behind us) because if they come off he's dead ...... it will slice right through the plane and chop him up!......... I think I'll be ok"
Fred has this amazing ability of making all the passengers on the plane feel totally at ease on any flight!! ............. Needless to say, Harry decided to move to the spare seat in front of us, just in case, leaving the man sitting next to him all alone! ........................ I half expected Freddie to turn round to him and say in a slow deep voice: .............. "be afraid ....... be VERY afraid!" !!
Fortunately the propellers stayed on, Harry lived and the man sitting behind us survived with only minor emotional scarring.
Airports, they always seem the most stressful part of our journey as the children are always hugely 'hyper' after the excitement of the plane - the seriousness of getting your Visa at the Airport in front of all those straight faced Officials with guns, just doesn't wash with the children! I am sure they think they are some kind of 'FUN' police and their guns are really water pistols, ready to squirt at any moment, and as for trollies and Baggage Reclaim ............ well, that's just a free ticket for the Luang Prabang Airport F1 qualifying circuit and if that isn't bad enough, they even have their own 'moving fun slide'..........what us normal human beings tend to call 'the baggage conveyor belt' ......... why don't the Officials just deport them?!! .............. I'm actually surprised we ever get into any country!! .............. "Was I really this bad when I was their age!!?" ........ 'I need a drink!!' ....... but, you know what they say, if you can't beat em! join em! ......................... next Airport, it might be less stressful signing up with Team Baggage McLaren!!

Luang Prabang is quaint, calm and appeared extremely chilled compared to Hanoi, with a general millay of bicycles, tuk-tuks and scooters passing by and after a medicinal Gin & Tonic and a Beer to get over the trauma of our Airport ritual!, life started to calm down and we all meandered through the midnight market that was alive every evening with local crafts, silks, art and jewellery and other general bric-a-brac ranging from ancient knives to Tigers teeth! We ate a a recommended restaurant Dao Fa Bistro, which boasted good home made pasta! and wonderful ice cream! and they weren't wrong ............................. However, for some unknown reason I decided to have the Crocodile Red Curry with Rice!!
Next Morning, 04.00am - I was having a serious conversation with God on the Big White Telephone, in several languages ..................... and boy did we have a lot to talk about!! ...................... things could only get better!
Next day ............................. very quiet! ....... I certainly wasn't up for dinner but managed a cautious trip on bicycles to JoMa Cafe and the Market where Jo bartered a good supply of fresh yellow mango, mangostines and watermelon which the children thought were delicious and urged Jo to buy MORE next time!

The children were pleased to here about a charity in Luang Prabang called Big Brother Mouse - www.bigbrothermouse.com - where you can attend and read locally written books to children. The Charity also aims to get books to some of the distant villages and set out on sometimes difficult trips by boat and truck to reach them. We bought a pack to take with us as we were visiting one of the jungle Villages next week with Plan UK, where we sponsor a little girl called Pa Va, who lives some 2 1/2 hours away by truck in the jungle. She is 11, same age as Harry (below) and it will be great for the children to experience first hand how other people, of similar ages to themselves live in these remote areas.

Next day. - Feeling better, we all ventured back into town on typical Laos bicycles, provided by our accommodating Hotel manager. Although 39 degrees and humid heat (even hot by Laoos standards), the bikes seemed to almost freewheel into town and create a cooling breeze which made it quite pleasant and the children loved it, ringing their bells every few seconds along the way. It was a nice 10 minute ride into town, stopping at JoMa Bakery & Cafe for great french cakes and coffee, this becoming the local school house for us to sit for a couple of hours and go through spelling, maths and a geography quiz, followed by a wander round the market and a cycle to the Mekong River. Tonight we decided to have 'street food!!' ......... a recommendation from a couple of young teachers we met in JoMa. Pork noodle soup and chicken fried rice for a tenth of the price we had paid the night before ...............an open kitchen actually on the street! ...... and clearly I had nothing to lose! ................ it was great and the children loved it! ................................. We then cycled home in the dark with our 'dynamo's' providing light and had a good nights sleep ................... until an almighty storm broke out in the early hours of the morning ................. never heard thunder, or rain,so loud before, but the children, in their room down the corridor slept through it!! ................ It certainly cleared the air in the morning and felt unusually refreshing.

Had to make our 7am cruise ship this morning for our two day trip down the Mekong River ............ everyone looking forward to it. Slight problem - our very accommodating hotelier told the Tuktuk driver to take us to the wrong pier - we should have been wary of him when he agreed so wholeheartedly with Jo that his room rates were expensive!. ....................... He hadn't got a clue what she was going on about! ...... "just smile and wave boys!" ......... Having discovered that none of the 20 boats lined up were ours, we finally found someone who knew that the Auberge Cacao pier was half a mile away, longer once the one way system was negotiated - you can guess the next bit, yes we had missed our very expensive boat to Huay Xai! . Luckily, following a few frantic phone calls, our Tuktuk driver could take us 10km up the road to the first village, where we could walk to the river bank and get a small boat to the other side, to the Bhuddhist caves, to meet up with our boat which would be making a stop here - we hoped. ............ This children thought the tuktuk was great fun!! .................. funny but a very similar thing happened 18 years ago whilst trying to get to an airport in Vietnam!! second time we have had to tell a tuk tuk driver to "step on it!!"

The boat trip down the Mekong is now underway and we are heading into deep jungle. The temperature is getting up to 106 degrees in the shade and all we needed to hear now was the low whooping sound of an American AH-1 Cobra Helicopter and the dulcet tones of Mick Jagger singing "I can't get no ....... satisfaction" to re-create a scene out of the Vietnam war where Laos was also heavily bombed. It gives a small snapshot insight as to what it must have been like during those days. In fact the landscape has probably not changed at all! The US lost 4,869 helicopters between 1962 and 1973, 2,000 of which were lost in 1968 and 1969. An estimated 260 million submunition 'bombies' were dropped on Laos between 1964 and 1973. 78 million of them failed to explode and since the end of the war over 12,000 people, many of them cildren, have fallen prey to them. Our 5 passengers (plus our family of 5) includes an American couple, the husband, 'Bud', of whom served in the Vietnam war and in the name of education, as the children had been learning about the war, we thought it would be a good idea if the chidren carried out an interview with him, to give them a better understanding as too what it must have been like. The questions were discussed between the children and written down (vetted by us just in case) and the interview went well. .............Q. "What music did you listen to?" ........ A. "The Monkeys and Mick Jagger"

The boat was a wonderful way to experience Laos as there was plenty of space to spread out with the children as it could take 30 guests and there were only ten of us. The chairs are comfortable, the food is good and there is a welcome cool breeze flowing through the boat. We had a large table to work from which doubled up as a great class room!, lessons being interrupted every now and again by kingfishers, water buffalo, local people panning for gold and the odd stop at a local village where Harry and Freddie take the opportunity to swim in the Mekong with the local kids, while we walk up to the village.

We had an overnight stop in a jungle lodge set back from the Mekong River which was very pleasant, sharing a couple of wooden lodges next door to each oher, the children snug in their mosquito nets and sharing our rooms with some very noisey lizards! - Later that night was THE loudest thunder storm and THE heaviest rain I had ever heard!! ......... can't believe the children slept through it!


Later on the next day we arived at the Town of Huay Xai, on the Thai/Laos border, a fairly small town with very little going on, appart from Milk Shakes and Fruit Smoothies', but this was our stop for 'The Gibbon Experience' - Livivng in a Tree House for 3 days, 2 nights, 120' up, with the only way in or out, via 'zip wires'!; the longest of which was some 500/600 metres long, several hundred feet up over the jungle canopy! ....................................... Jo (my wife) and Fred (my 9 year old) - not being great with heights were feeling a little more than apprehensive!! ..............................

Day 24-27 - Halong, Cat Ba Island and Country & Western!

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We were going to book our Halong Bay trip at the SInh Cafe Travel Bureau round the corner from our Hotel. Last time we were Vietnam, SInh Cafe had only one shop in Saigon and we booked our Mekong Delta trip through them. Now they are all over Vietnam and one of the largest Tour Operators in the country. However, only 3 1/2 weeks into our trip, we were convinced by our amiable Hotel Manager to go through him! ............. many things in Vietnam are toooooooo good to be true!! As we had been unable to visit Halong Bay 18 years ago, we were keen to see it this time, as it is proposed as one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.
Unfortunately on the 4 hour bus journey from Hanoi, the weather turned to light rain!! And on arrival at Halong Bay the sky was cloaked with a light cloud, with the beauty of the rising limestone mountains disappearing into the haze as you looked into the distance, but the air remained hot and the haze offered some protection from the sun. This was to be the weather for the next 4 days.

Now, ...... 3 1/2 weeks into the trip and the 'Beard' was coming on well!! ................. That's mine not Harry's!! ........... and like every bloke when you start your holiday and cast aside your razor to go for that rugged travelling look, in our eyes, we ALL turn into an unshaven George Clooney!! ........... Unfortunately, in the eyes of the family, they were now on a major Country & Western Tour with Kenny Rogers!!! ................. All I needed was a cowboy hat and guitar and with a couple of verses of ... "you picked a fine time to leave me Lucile", I had a whole new career ahead of me!!! .......................................................... Kenny will have to go!!

We arrived on our mid range cruise ship, (wooden boat) and it became quite apparent that the boat in the brochure was ............ just a little different to the boat in the water. But to give our amiable Hotel Manager the benefit of the doubt, he probably, accidentally, showed us the wrong brochure!! .......... and more for that charged us the wrong price!! However, it floated, the bedrooms were ok and the food was pleasantly edible.

The cruise was very quaint in its own way, although it became very apparent that every cruise had a set routine and the Vietnamese ran it like clockwork. "My" .... our initial Vietnamese guide, had clearly learned his English 'patter' from Tony Blair and complete with hand gestures he would repeat everything he said twice! "wha we do today! ......... Wha we do today" ............."yu will have 30 minute rest...... yu will have 30 minute rest" ......... "yu will then go kayak for 40 minute .......... yu will then go kayak for 40 minute!" ................... "YU, will then come back 12 oclok .......... YU, will then come back 12 oclok" ................. ""Yu, not be late .............. Yu, not be late!" ........... mmmmh, murmers from the guests of "is this some kind of concentration camp??" ... and "heh, 'My', chill out we are supposed to be on holiday", fell completely on deaf ears! ....... "time keepin very important in my country!" ............. "time keepin very important in my country!" ................ This was going to be an interesting trip!!
After we completed the first day with the masses, the other guests left and we had an extra day, which meant we were moved to another boat for the day ........ our own day boat! (above) with kayaks in tow. Fantastic, now we could go where we wanted, away from the masses! ...................................... "we go cave,... we go pearl market, .... we go fishing village, ... we go kayaking, .... we return to big boat"!!!! ...........Ahhhhhh! .... Our new guide had similar ideals!!.............. Following various elements of torture and threats of mutiny, ..... that was from Jo, by the way, ........ plus a few frantic calls to his boss, we eventually got our own way! .......... and thouroughly enjoyed the rest of the day chilling in Halong Bay.

Halong Bay is undoubtedly a beautiful place, and did deserve its proposed attribute as one the the Seven Natural Wonders of the World. However, the water was heavily polluted and far too bad to swim in! When you consider the huge scale of this area which has over 3,000 islands, Vietnam has a problem it needs to address quickly. Unfortunately, this very much summed up the current attitude of the Vietnamese Tourist Industry. The new young generation of budding businessmen were only interested in one thing, ..... 'The Yankee Dollar'. This was their new God and both the client and the ecological importance of the destination certainly took a back seat. If this isn't addressed soon I am sure the next ten years will see a huge decline of their tourist industry.

Another phrase that springs to mind in Vietnam is: "this time next year Rodney, we"ll be millionares!!" ......... at 20,000 dong to the dollar, a meal out at "The Green Mango" would set me back a cool 1.4million dong!!! and I didn't even pick up $500.00 after passing "GO"!!


The next two days we stayed on Cat Ba Island and through our amiable Hotel Manager, we had booked some very nice accomodation for two days at 'The Sunshine Resort Hotel' for a bit of respite! ........... or so we thought!! ........ This was suposed to be the best Hotel on Cat Ba Island but our new, female guide, dropped us off at 'The Cat Ba Island Resort Hotel' ................ After some confussion with our guide, the children had spotted the water slides in the swimming pool and had already decided that this is where we would stay! .................. Part of this Hotel was still under construction, but, as one of the only guests in the Hotel we did receive impecable service from our Tawainese Manager. In giving our amiable Hotel Manager in Hanoi the benefit of the doubt agian, he had clearly mistakenly shown us the wrong brochure, clearly got confussed with the actual name of the Hotel, ....... easy mistake!! and clearly, mistakenly, charged us a much higher price for the Hotel we weren't staying in!!! We did decide to give hime a bit of a "rocket" over the phone at this stage and he did treat us to dinner as an apology! ............. but heh! .......... this was Vietnam! The Hotel was actually very pleasent and the swimming pool water slides were the best thing ever, according to the children ................................ could have taken them to the Taro in Petersfield!!!! This gave us a bit of time to catch up on some tuition by the pool which worked very well.

The last day we got up at 6.30am to do a bit of beach-combing before breakfast and headed back to Hanoi for our last night before departing for Laos. The last day at Hanoi was good fun and the locals seemed a bit more genuine today. I managed to replace my damaged camera lens - the one that fell out of the aeroplane luggage compartment on day 1 due to the "muppet" sitting behind us - and the following morning we took another, this time small propelled flight, from Hanoi to Luang Prabang in Laos. The children seemed to get very over excited about flying, but understandibly so having regard to their age and they all felt very much like Tintin getting into this small propelled plane! ................... Laos was going to be hot!!